Any relationship that ends can be painful and there are positive things you can do either to get back together or find someone new. Here's what you can do to get your ex girlfriend back.

Planning To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

The first step is the planning stage. If you talk to her without a plan you may damage your chances with her forever. Make a list of things that led up to the breakup from her perspective, not yours. Can you do anything about the reasons why the relationship ended? Are the reasons small or big? Would you need to change your entire personality to make her happy? Or can you do little things to greatly improve the relationship?

Next you need to ask yourself about your motives for wanting her back. Are you lonely, needy, and lost? Or are you more concerned for her happiness than your own? If it's love and not just lust, now is the time to tell her how much you love her and how much better your relationship can be. If you wait too long she may find someone else. This would make it even more difficult to get her back.

But before you talk with her, you'll need to get yourself together. Sometimes how we feel emotionally is more important than the words. If your feelings for her are genuine she'll feel it even before you speak and visa versa. Never express any anger or disappointment regardless of what she says. Always be respectful of her and yourself. Never argue. If she interrupts you while you're speaking, listen intently without saying a word. Wait until she's completely done before you speak. Your goal should be to maintain composure no matter what she says or does and make it a positive experience.

The Five Steps To Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back

1. Tell her you love her and want another chance to make the relation the best it can be


2. Admit that the reasons leading up to the break up were all your fault even if it wasn't


3. Explain what you will do to make the relationship better


4. Apologize and ask forgiveness


5. Be willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work

What If She Says's No?

All is not lost. It's not over yet. It's tough for our egos when we're rejected but don't take it personally. If you've been loving, kind, and sincere, chances are she's not rejecting you. She's just making a decision that feels better to her right now. Tomorrow after she's had a chance to think about things she may have second thoughts.

If she needs time, be agreeable and thank her for forgiving you. You can also suggest things like a trial period, - no strings attached, where you'd get back together for a short period, perhaps a week or a month, - whatever you can negotiate. That would give both of you time to work out your differences and see how much better the relationship can be. After that if she still wants to leave you would agree to let her go, no questions asked, ... without any fuss. And you'll never talk with her about getting back together again unless she wants to. You might mention the happy times you've had together and ask if she's willing to give it one last try before calling it quits. It would be a shame to throw away everything if both of you still have feelings for each other.

What If Your Ex Girlfriend Says No And She Means It?

Ok, so you've done everything you can to get your ex girlfriend back and she's still not interested. What can you do? Nothing. All we can do is attract people into our lives. It never works when we try to push them into our lives. Even if we're successful they'll always resent us for forcing us to do something they don't want to do. That's why putting people on a guilt trip sometimes works but in the long term it's a destructive behavior. When we really love someone we are more concerned about their happiness than ours. If they're happier by themselves or with someone else, we should be happy for them as well. Imagine how much love you'd feel if people treated you this way.

Trying to control other people and depending on other people to make us happy is stressful and unproductive. It's hard enough to control our own behaviors. But it's impossible to control what another person might say or do. The only way to be happy is to understand that love comes from within. Before we can love anyone we must love ourselves unconditionally. Only then are we able to love others the same way. And only then can we attract people who love us unconditionally as well.

If her answer is no, all you can do is wish her well, and move on. It will be difficult for a while but you can look for ways to feel better and better every day. Soon there will plenty of room in your heart for a new relationship. Your happiness and love for other people will attract more of the same into your life.